Restlessness. It gnaws away at me.
There is so much I feel I want to do — have to do.
Fear pushes me to try. My mind is full of the consequences of inaction: another day lost; all my momentum gone; more delay in seeing the progress that I crave so much to see. The painful realisation that I am still so many steps away from being able to ship – when shipping means everything. It brings closure. It is what all this is about. The ideas means nothing without the execution.
I try, but it feels empty. I know I am just going through the motions. It feels weak and hollow. I know there is no real energy behind anything that I now try to do.
I know what I must do; even though it scares me to do it. I must stop and confront my feelings. I have to listen to the stirrings of my heart and soul. I must make peace within if I am to see progress without. I need to take time out to unravel my thoughts and feelings. I need to find clarity. Only from there can I proceed to take any action that is either meaningful or effective.
I tell myself it is not a waste of time. I tell myself it is the very best thing that I can do. I remind myself that only more wasteful thrashing about awaits me, if I talk myself out of this step. No wins. Only restlessness.
Take time out. Confront your feelings.