“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
– Jim Rohn
OK, if you go by the quote, then right now, I’m a happy little girl… well a happy girl mostly… (and as the comedian Jeff Dunham said in one of his stand-up shows “I am growing a uterus as we speak”).
But you get the point – Happiness is infectious and hanging around happy people helps me stay happy. It’s as simple as that!
I could have ended this post right here, but I chose not to, because I know that the converse is true also. And I know from my own struggles that this is where people might need a little bit of help. So now for the other ‘half’ of this post!
This post could just as easily been titled ‘Stay Away from Negative People’. But I don’t think it is helpful to label people (as ‘negative’ etc.) and condemn them in this way. I have found that this alone can make me feel bad as it usually brings some sort of resentment into the picture (and into my mind). If I ever find myself in such situations, I try to remember Louise Hay’s words that “Everyone is doing the best with what they know” (I apply this to myself as well, so I don’t beat up on myself). I also remind myself that I too can be a downright grumpus (or even aggressive) at times. In fact, when I do find myself stressed or angry, I do my best to take time out and regain my balance before I take myself back into a situation with people I care about (or with the people I have had an issue with). I don’t feel a need to argue anymore and have found that it doesn’t really help. I will often let someone know how I feel and apologise if I feel I want to and leave it at that.
There have been times when I have felt like I needed all the help I could get to find peace, clarity and good-feeling thoughts. At times like these, I have found that it is best to separate myself from anyone who can draw me into patterns of unhelpful thinking. I call this ‘loving from a distance’ – because I still love the person, but I maintain my distance in order to help myself.
Since I have chosen to believe in the Law of Attraction and it operates on the principle that ‘like attracts like’ I now feel that a) I will mostly attract happy people into my life and b) that even when I interact with others who are not happy in their disposition, if I am happy at that time, then I will bring out the happiness in them for the time that we are together.
So what I am trying to get at here is that when you are struggling to find happy thoughts or focus on the good in your life, it is best to keep away from anyone who might not be helpful in this endeavour. But when you are feeling balanced and stable in your happy happy frame of mind, then it will be easier to interact with someone who isn’t quite as happy and still enjoy the interaction. Of course, as I have explained (and experienced), this will not work if you still hang on to the judgement and resentment while you interact with them.
If you feel guilty about keeping your distance, please remember that “you can’t give to another, what you don’t have” (Abraham) and so, you will not be able to be uplift anyone else, when you are down in the doldrums yourself. Whereas, if you take the time to help yourself, then you will be in a much stronger position to be loving and supportive to the other person. So avoiding them for the short-term is an act of kindness to both yourself and the other and there is no need for guilt.